By James V. Ruocco
"It's a Wonderful Life"
"Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer"
"Frosty the Snowman."
"A Christmas Carol"
"The Nutcracker"
"A Charlie Brown Christmas"
In "Christmas on the Rocks," a wicked, witty and shiny holiday confection that comes gift wrapped in every color of the rainbow, theatergoers finally learn what actually happened to seven different child characters from their favorite Christmas stories, who, for story purposes, have now grown into adulthood.
"A Christmas Story's" Ralphie, for example, is still fascinated by all things pink and fuzzy. But as a grown up, he now uses pink bunny suits for erotic, sexual and masturbatory purposes. Meanwhile, his dad has died and mom has become a lesbian. Little Zuzu Bailey from "It's a Wonderful Life," in turn, is haunted by angels day and night. She also freaks out every time she hears bells ringing. Jingle bells, doorbells, sleigh bells, Patti LaBelle and Bell's palsy, to name a few.
Remember, "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer's" Hermey, that lovable gay elf from the North Pole. He now finds pleasure and contentment from taking a wild ride on Rudolph's shiny bright nose. But sadly, he's also jealous of that very famous reindeer.
Karen, the little girl from "Frosty the Snowman" who brought that famous icy wonder to life, is also beset by problems. Homicidal as hell because she never got any recognition or acclaim for her snowy white creation, she gets revenge by melting him into oblivion with her hot blow dryer. Drunken Tiny Tim from "A Christmas Carol" has become his own Ebenezer Scrooge, a man he believes, despite inspired visions from the Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present and Future, actually had a very real psychotic break.
Clara, that beautiful young girl from "The Nutcracker," has not only lost her looks, but resembles Baby Jane Hudson from "Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?" That's not all. Her handsome Nutcracker Prince is having homosexual liaisons with her brother Fritz and loving every minute of it.
And finally, there's shy, perplexed Charlie Brown from the "Peanuts" stories who tells everyone that Snoopy, No. 4 has died, Patty and Marcie have joined the lesbian movement, Lucy is now his nagging wife and Schroeder is "straight" and not "homosexual." But wait, there's also good news. In "Merry Christmas, Blockhead," the final segment of "Christmas on the Rocks," he finally gets to dance and chat with that Little Red-Haired Girl who has remained in his everyday thoughts ever since the very first day he saw her in the school lunchroom. Sweet! Oh, yes.
Set in a local bar on Christmas Eve, "Christmas on the Rocks" dazzles, sparkles and cajoles with its decidedly quirky, offbeat, well-timed R-rated humor provided by playwrights John Cariani, Jacques Lamarre, Jeffrey Hatcher, Theresa Rebeck, Edwin Sanchez and actors Jenn Harris and Matthew Wilkas. One by one, each of the characters they have created walks into a local neighborhood bar and pours his or her heart out to the understanding bartender using a delicious blend of cheeky dialogue, four-letter words and sexual innuendo that prompts laughter (lots and lots of it) in all the right places.
Staged with just the right amount of comic zing and pulse by director Rob Ruggiero, "Christmas on the Rocks" never once loses its grasp on its acerbic silliness, storytelling, characterization and holiday cheer. It's delightful, playful, skillful and wonderfully imaginative. Now, in its sixth year at TheaterWorks, the play itself shows no sign of age or slowing down. With Ruggiero pulling the strings, so to speak, it is fresh, alive, high spirited and guaranteed to release that juvenile giggler within. Even if you've seen the show before, and lots of people in the audience have, you'll still find plenty to laugh about.
That said, "Christmas on the Rocks" isn't a tale for kiddies. So leave the little ones home. This production has been designed exclusively for adults who want to laugh hard and loud as their beloved and favorite holiday characters shock and delight them with their updated stories, their lack of holiday cheer, their quirky twists and turns, their idiosyncrasies and their revelations and pronouncements. And therein, lies the production's enjoyment.
In the role of the Bartender, Tom Bloom, now in his second year with "Christmas on the Rocks," is the real deal. His portrayal is kind, cynical, understanding, compassionate and fraught with the kind of in-your-face honesty and emotion every bartender should have. His line delivery is perfectly in sync with the irreverent humor inherent in every one of the comic scenarios. His comic expressions are flawless. His interaction with every one of the characters who comes through the doors of his festive establishment is spot on. If ever you were to find yourself alone and distraught on Christmas Eve, Bloom's Bartender is the one you would want to meet up with. The actor perfectly captures the compassion, vulnerability and persona at his character's core.
Making his TheaterWorks debut, Harrison is cute, cuddly, charming and personable. He knows how to play comedy and he plays it well. He also knows how to get, build and shape a laugh without really trying. Stepping into the roles once played by Matthew Wilkas, the actor is no copycat. Instead, he brings his own sense of humor, intelligence, versatility and naughtiness to the production. He is at his comic peak in "Say it Glows," during which his giddy portrayal of the very effeminate Hermey gives gay stereotypes a breezy charm, attitude and kick that thrusts the material out of the ballpark with flying colors. Then again, that's the point, isn't it?
Harris, now in her fifth year with "Christmas On the Rocks," is an amazing actress and tremendously gifted comedienne whose line delivery, comic expressions, body language and reactions are so incredibly conceived, you laugh, cheer and applaud her every comic move. You can't take your eyes off her for a moment for fear of missing something important. You eagerly await her every entrance. Her interaction with Bloom in their individual scenes is absolutely flawless as is her comic timing and camaraderie with Harrison in the play's final scene, which also features Bloom. This sort of comic domain is natural territory for Harris and she does it ever so well. Then and now, her performance is fresh, unique and genuine.
Surprising, hilarious and contagiously gleeful, "Christmas on the Rocks" is a natural fit for TheaterWorks this holiday season. It's different. It's funny. It's refreshing. It's irreverent. It's flip. It's deliciously obscene. It is full of wicked, crazy and cheeky comic moments that will keep you laughing and laughing and laughing. It's the real deal...and then some. And yes, you will want to see it again.
Photos by Lanny Nagler
"Christmas on the Rocks" is being staged at TheaterWorks (233 Pearl St., Hartford, CT), now through Dec. 23.
For tickets or more information, call (860) 527-7838.
website: theaterworkshartford.org
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